Mother's Day thoughts

So I celebrated my 13th mother's day this year. It was a sweet one considering that in 1994 I was told I wouldn't be one. Each of us have our own road of motherhood, whether it be easy and natural- hard and with medical intervention-adoption-or just being the village mother. But each woman's heart longs for that feeling to hold and nurture and child and call them her own. We are not perfect in the words that we say. Our emotions can blind us throughout our lives. It is a shame as to the pain it can cause others. Primary infertility or secondary infertility-motherhood is still that longing....As I have read so many different thoughts this Mother's Day I have been reminded over the many different emotions I have felt over the years from grief, to sorrow, to happiness and joy to longing and aching....But this Mother's Day I woke with gratitude in my heart that no matter that journey, no matter the cost-I am able to celebrate Mother's Day.

Sunday morning each child gave me something when I woke up and (Jeremy went out of his way this year and gave me a picture of us at midnight in a really cool frame.) Then in the morning he had Kenna give me opal earrings and then he gave me an opal necklace. (my birthstone) Kelsey gave me a mother daughter necklace that made me cry. Keira made me a sweet card and Kyle made me a certificate and card. It was such a sweet day and one that I will cherish. It has been a rough few years transitioning with older kids and "feisty" Kenna. She can still be an armful, but she is maturing in some ways and getting a little easier. When she is in a good mood she is really cute!!!
As I watch each of them grow and develop it is amazing to me to realize how much I love this job called mom. I may not have the great paying job or some cool degree that will earn me a great paying job-anthropology degrees probably are not worth much :) but I finished what I started and I do still hope to get a graduate degree one day...
But looking at how in the blink of an eye Kyle and Kelsey are turning into handsome and beautiful young adults-it makes me sad to think that I thought I appreciated all the time I have had with them and yet I wish I had more....The next 6 years with Kyle will go by so fast it makes me sad to realize that he and Kelsey will be in college in 7 years. So sad....I will really miss them...
Don't get me wrong-I love Keira and Kenna just as much and I look forward to all of the time I have left with them and I know that I can appreciate that time just as much-and that being a mom does not end when they leave home and that the next 7 years will not be easy-but these kids are so precious to me and I love every minute I get to spend with them and with Jeremy as a family. It has been a lot of fun!
Thank you Jeremy for not giving up on me and believing in me all of these years. I know it is not always easy and that at times it is easier to give up and start over, but I still believe in true love and still believe that Black Hawk's song "Love Like This" is our song. Thanks for sharing this ride called parenthood with me all of these years and I look forward to all of the years to come....