Saturday, August 29, 2009

well, I made it.

I am home and made it through the surgery. I am rather sore and hurting, but it could be much worse. I am so thankful to my wonderful friends that have already helped me and those that will be helping me in the next two weeks. I have made a goal that I will be good and follow dr's orders and not do too much. It will be hard for me, but I am determined to heal quickly and not have any setbacks.
She did find more endo when she went in which is amazing considering how much I have done to prevent it these past 9 months. So I know it was the right thing to do. I am also glad I had it done in CS at the Med. They treated me like such a queen. The staff was sooo good to me from step one. I saw old friends and met new ones. I can't say enough about the great care I received there. There was even a little pull out couch for Jeremy to sleep on with me in my room and they brought him pillows and blankets. It was such a great experience. Despite the pain and the closing chapter in my life. I am off to bed with some more pain meds and focusing on healing.
Thanks John and America for taking my kids these past two days. I really appreciate it a lot. It is haard for me to ask for help. So it means a lot to all of you that have helped me. Thanks!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

First Day of School

Well these pictures are posting funny so here they are. Kyle on his way to middle school, but along for the ride to drop off Keira and Kelsey. Keira got Ms. Guzzo and has not decided if she really likes kindergarten. She thinks the boys are a pain in her class and she wants to do more crafts and wants Ms. Guzzo to read aloud to the classroom more often. So I hope that she will get settled and enjoy it more. On the other hand, Kelsey got exactly who she wanted! Mr. Cannon! Kyle and Kelsey think he is really cool! He lives here is Eagle Springs and even met Kyle one afternoon to play baseball-so I think he is a pretty great teacher myself and am glad that she is so excited about 5th grade. Kyle is getting used to the routine of 6th grade. I think he is liking growing up too much. He wants to look good and do well in each class and he seems like such a little man. I don't know where the time had gone. I keep praying that he will continue to make good choices and be an example and leader among his friends.
It is hard to believe that Keira is in kindergarten. I remember wanting and waiting so long for her to come into our family. When she was born it feels like yesterday, but she was so ready for kindergarten. Like her brother in middle school she seems confident to stand on her own two feet. I only hope I have done a good enough job preparing her for the experiences she will face. Monday was a hard day for me in that it is another milestone. In three years Kyle will start high school and Kenna will start kindergarten. My time to be a parent here at home is going by faster than I ever thought it would be. I guess as I prepare for the hysterectomy on Friday I contemplate my job rating as a mom. I don't get anymore chances. I pray for them. I do my very best to prepare them spiritually and emotionally for the world that they are growing up in. It is so different from my own. When I was Kelsey's age I remember being gone from first light to dusk playing along the drainage ditch or going down to the beach or down to a friend's house. Or walking over to the shops in the village when it wasn't so huge and developed to just look around. There was a five and dime store just off of Kirby. It was safe to run around like that all day. No cell phones, nothing.
I am grateful too today for the power, pure power of the Atonement. I never really understood it's full reach-but I am beginning to see just how all encompassing the reach of the encircling arms of His love is. It heals broken hearts from all directions, it covers the pains not just physical pains of sicknesses, emotional scars, even those inflicted by others. I am just so humbled by His love for me and His hand always reaching out to me to keep going. I know that He does that for each of us. Heaven knows I am the best at forgeting His hand is there, but this summer has reminded me that I may not always be as steady as I should be He is there to steady me when feel like I am about to lose my balance and carry me onward.
As we had to say goodbye to Grandmother or "GG" and she had my kids call her last week it made me realize the long lasting effect our choices have. One choice not only changes the course of our own life, but it changes the course of may generations to come. She had 21 grandchildren and 41 great grandchildren. My little ones may not remember her, but my older one will. Kyle will remember her for always being ready to talk baseball and encourage a young man. Kelsey will always remember a good strong hug and a listening ear and a cold little bottle of coke. Me, I will remember her as a woman who took this young 23 year old into her family and although in the beginning I always thought she liked Jeremy so much more as the years went on I knew that she loved me just as much. She always encouraged me to stay home and raise my kids. She worked cause she had to she would tell me. We always had lunch or dinner at Luby's together and it was always such a special time for me to get to spend it with her even if it was just the kids and I-she always did those things. I too thought she would be around forever-and although I know I will see her again-I miss her. I talked to her just a few days before she had her stroke. She always made sure to give me a compliment and tell the kids she loved them.
Life isn't always easy, but she always made me believe that if you held on you would make it through.
But now it is time to finish getting my house ready for me to be down for a little while-not like me. So I will post the next chance I get....

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Summer Reflections and A New Start On Aug 28th

I am in a reflective mood again. I guess I get that way every August. In just a few days Jeremy and I will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary and I have really learned a lot this summer. The Lord has taught me so much through so many friends and expereinces these past few months. I can't thank them enough for their patience with me or all of the angels at work. I have found that some of the hardest things we go through we can find our closest friends. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to get to know some new friends and strengthened others. I have realized that I was more prideful that I thought. I have been humbled to learn that this summer. I have learned that time is a gift from God that I most never take for granted and although I try my very best right now my house is not perfectly organized and Kenna may spend half the day running around in PJs like me. But we have found a new level of peace in our home.
I am sad at the news of Jeremy's grandmother's stroke and that it looks like we are going to lose her. She is an amaizng woman and she was so very kind to me each time I was down there. I know there is the circle of life-but it seems as I get older that the circle starts to spin a little faster and there is not enough time to enjoy all the of womderful time with your loved ones that you woould like. It also makes me miss my grandfather and wish he was still here, but I know he is so happy to be back with his wife.
The Lord instructed me a long long time ago that my home needed to be a place of beauty, a place a learning, a place of love. I have tried very hard over the years to make that possible. The clutter I know draws away from the beauty part, but a friend gave me the highest compliment that I could ever receive. She told me last week that she had never been in a home so welcoming and comfortable. She always felt at peace when she came over. It reminded me of that admonition from the Lord and that I needed to never give up.
I am also excited to announce that I am scheduled for a complete hysterectomy on the 28th of August. Yes, I know you say, excited? But it is with this new robotic system called the DaVinci system that I will only have 6: 1-2 cm scars and it will not be an open abdominal surgery. It is a cure for 24 years of dealing with endometriosis and I although I have felt great with the Lupron-this is the answer I have been waiting for and I know it is the right time. The Lord blessed me with my beautiful children and now it is my time to feel great!
I will post some pictures of our summer soon. Kelsey had two a days for soccer last week. It looks like her team will be the best 11U team in the Houston area. We play a tournament every weekend starting the 22nd. And Kyle's baseball try outs are tonight. So it has begun again. But I am grateful for the Lord and his mercies and all that He has shown unto me this summer to make me a better person and help me overcome the some of the things I struggle with.
Now I look forward to a day without a heat advisory and a cool breeze!!!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Two Peas in a Pod

Well my friend that was waiting for these babies to get here through God's miracles finally did about 6 weeks ago. They were sent here by a loving mother who gave them from God's arms to the mother's arms to Angela's arms. I had planned to make a different cake but it wasn't going like I had planned-but my life never does....So Natie and I came up with these and I fell in love. Little did I know it would take so long. I still need to finish cleaning and get everything back to normal, but the time that it took was such a blessing to me.
One year ago Angela and I got to sit together each week while Tyler and Keira took gymnastics together. We got to talk and go have lunch every Tuesday while the kids played and we got to become good friends. I rode the roller coaster not in the car, but on the ground holding my breath on the highs and getting that same pit in your stomach feeling on the lows. I prayed and fasted and hoped for these little miracles to come into her life when they were supposed to. I had watched another friend go through this and I couldn't help but feel that as she always told me-you would know when it was right. So I kept relaying that bit of wisdom. All the time my sister in law was riding this same ride and a week or two after Angela "had" Brady and Carter Emily "had" Ellie. So it is amazing the Lord's timetable. We compared notes on the phone the three of us and yet through it all the ended up with little babies almost in the same hospital at the same time in Utah! So my time to make these cakes was just a small token of my thanks to Angela for letting me be a friend on this journey with her. I can't wait to hold and help with Brady and Carter and I am so happy for her in this miracle that she is able to enjoy!
Best of all-I did it.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My baby boy turned 12

Well it is official. he is a deacon. I can't write much. But it was a sweet experience to watch Jeremy and Kyle pass the sacrament this past Sunday together and the previous Sunday to see him ordained a deacon by his dad. I have watched him go from this infant in my arms to a wild toddler to being baptized to becoming a priesthood holder. It seems in the blink of an eye I will be kissing him goodbye at the MTC. He has grown into a handsome young man and I am sure I will be fighting the YW off with a stick. :) He has already been babysitting 3 times this past week. I am glad to hear his has put babies to bed and cleaned up their houses. He's not my little boy anymore. His dad has done a good job of teaching him how to be a good young man and now Jeremy has a buddy to take to priesthood meetings! :) Now it is I who has to wait another few years....
I never thought that I would look forward to these years, but although I will miss the snuggle of a baby and the sweet communion with God in the stillness of the night I know there will be more times when we talk late at night and I will have that same sweetness just in a different way. I am having fun with his friends around and spending time with him. I am sad to see the summer end.