Birthday WIshes

Well I am not the blogger I once was-but I am excited that Jeremy got me a little camera that I can carry around so I can take more pictures so I can post more often. At least for the grandmas anyway. :) Or maybe they will get their own blog just of the kiddos. :)
SO I am officially 37. I am closer to 40 than 30. You have to round me up now not down. I have had a hysterectomy and am postmenopausal-so I figure that makes me old-right? Well I was at dinner tonight with the kids at Chili's and was sitting next to this older couple late 50's and she heard the kids telling me happy birthday. She said it was her birthday as well but that she was much older than me. I asked her how old she thought I was-she said 28!!!! How great is that! I told her she was 9 years off and she said 36! So I guess she can't do math either! But any way you look at it-if I got in shape just imagine how young I could pull off! How fun would that be! Maybe I could hang out with Mandy Kitchens and freak out some 25 year old one day just for fun! :) Just kidding! I wouldn't do that! But it did crack me up if she thought I was that young sitting there in Chili's with 4 kids ages 12-2 being only 28. I mean what I had Kyle at 16 and Kenna at 26? Uh NO! I was 25 and 35 thank you very much! Plus I do have a degree and stuff. That is another tangent thanks to Kyle's teacher that made me mad today and then I got into it with Keira's teacher today so I guess Kelsey got it right I am still Mama bear-regardless of my age. ;)
But most of all I have been reflecting as I do...

I don't want to take my time for granted. Yet some days I do.
I don't want to waste my time yet some days I just want to do nothing.
I so want to run again-and now that I am cleared and feeling better-I can't wait to!
Free of monthly pain forever! YEAH!!!!!!
I want to become a better sewing person...for my kids and my friends.
i want to desperately reclaim my house from the past month
and clean it from top to bottom and make it sparkily barkily....
I want to be less prideful and more teachable...
I want to trust more and be a better friend...
I want to be cool and not closed off from everybody
I hope that my kids find that their place in this world doesn't have to come right now-that they have the time to find it....
I hope that love will conquer all fears, and doubts, and insecurities....
I hope that the impossible will become possible....
I watched an ambulance drive past me today and I thought about my children- what I would want them to know if they didn't see me tonight-
I love you with all of my heart. It was my great blessing and gift from God to be your mom. I want you to always believe in your self and know that you have great worth and that you are wonderful!!! You are beautiful and handsome and smart and intelligent and athletic and creative and funny and musical and loveable. But most of all you are the great blessings I could have. I was blessed to be a mom. No other worldly job compared to that of a mom. No paycheck would make up for the hugs or the kisses that I had. I got to see your first steps. I got to see the Shamu shows, the playdough mountains, and the trips to the zoo. I got to snuggle with you you were sick and stay up all night with you. Everyone always tells me-oh you've got your hands fun in a yucky tone-I turn it around and I mean it when I say-I am blessed to have my hands full in such a great way! I have great kids. i love you guys.

Jeremy I didn't leave you out either-I love you too-very much! Thanks for sticking with me all of these years. We are not as young as we used to be. But I love you more....