I'm home

Well, I made it through yesterday. We got bumped to a later time but still made it home by the time the kids got out of school. Thanks so much to Kelsey (my angel!) for keeping the kids for 36 hours along with her own kids for a grand total of 7 kids-she even braved dinner out at DD's-She is amazing! Kenna didn't cry -so that proves it that Kelsey is not adopted into the family!!!:)
Well, they found endo and scar tissue so I am prety sore today-more so than yesterday. I'd take a picture of my bruised belly button but don't want to gross anyone out. I guess she found enough that she gave me a lupron shot-so I will do that for six months and then go back to my oral hormones to keep it at bay. Jen rocks as a doctor and a mom! She is one of the women I totally look up to and admire! Thanks for making yesterday less stressful knowing it was you doing it! So I hope to feel better soon-Kenna wants me to carry her around now that I am home and so she cries that I can't. But I am sure she will find Kelsey or Bubby to cling to for the next few days while I am recovering. Have a great week!

well i am off

Well I am off to college Station-hopefully Kelsey will still like me when I get back and my kdis will be good for her. I am hoping all goes well and we will be home tomorrow asap. I mainly look forward to feeling better alothough I hear the Lupron shot side effects can be pretty bad-well here we go....

ARGH!!!

Ok, normally I am a pretty laid back person. I don't get too worked up over things and usually don't have a temper. But last weekend I totally was frustrated by the mess my girls can make. How is it that I have a neat freak for a son and I am begging the girls to clean up. At least there is hope for Kenna-she is always singing "Keem Up" and picking up after herself. She loves to help clean up after dinner and wants to help the big kids with the dishes. Then since hurting my shoulder I have gotten behind on the laundry. Jeremy has helped but it drives me nuts to have clothes that I need to fold. (Note to future self-advise children when they have children that the laundry multiplies with more children!) Throw in sports are starting again and Kelsey and Kyle have enough laundry for 4 people alone!!!
So I cleaned all weekend and had the Yak n Sak Monday and now I need to clean again. I fed the missionaries last night and need to get to cleaning that up-since the kids had homework-they didn't get their kitchen chores done-yeah me!
Plus with having surgery on Friday I am trying to super clean the house before so that it will be clean when my friend Kelsey will be staying with the kids tomorrow night. I am sure she doesn't care if the house is perfectly clean or not-but I just want it done. So here I am avoiding it by posting in my blog. :)
I am a little nervous about it-just from the stand point of when do I really have the time to just lay in bed over the weekend? There is always something to get done here and I know I hate giving up that control to make sure it gets done. But the up side is I should feel a whole lot better in the long run which will help me to get back in shape and not always feel sick. So I am looking forward to that part of it.
I had a migraine yesterday which was the first in a long time. I was so mad because I was really looking forward to going to work at HAAM. I love to go and it is so much fun to go. At least I signed up a lot this spring so I can get back into going regularly like I was. I took some medicine that helped but didn't kick in until about 11am. Thank goodness for Angela and bringing lunch! She made the day so much better! It lingered until bedtime, but I am feeling better today just residual nausea.
My shoulder is feeling better as long as I keep up with my exercises and ice. I will be glad when it is back to normal and Tina gives the the green light to run again. I am determined to run a 10K by my birthday so I want to get busy training. Hopefully in the process will lose some weight.
I also want to add that I am grateful the little miracle that occurred on Monday for me. I was feeling pretty frustated by several things on Monday and was complaining to the Lord. I was not humble just praying for patience to understand why? While I was reaching the point of my frustration-the phone rang. What she told me-humbled me greatly. There maybe a lot of prayers that go unanswered but this one didn't and although I don't understand why this time and not another I was sufficiently humbled to know that I am still be taken care of and watched over by the Lord. I want to express my gratitude for all the He has given me. Especially that Kenna is well. I am grateful for my friends and I am grateful that I have friends from all walks of life. I have friends from soccer, from baseball, from the neighborhood, from school, and from church.
I am also so excited to learn that friends from College Station are coming to Time Out for women in March. I think it will be a lot of fun, especially since I can't go to Women's Conference this year. Thanks cindy for sending me that note and telling me you were coming. I am settled here-but I still look forward to the day when we can move back to College Station one day.

Random Thoughts and Pictures....

Ok-since the kids were sick all December-I didn't get Kelsey to take out pictures so here is our sad version of the holiday picture with all the kids smiling. If you look closely you will notice that all of Keira's hair is gone and is a bob. It was shorter than I would have gone-but she looks like a little pixie so I guess it is good all hair keeps growing. As you can tell-Kelsey is getting close to being able to cut hers for locks of love again. She did it last May and has been waiting for it to be long enough to do it again this year. Kyle also tried to grow out his hair (since that is the trend these days) and has since decided that he likes it shorter than this. His new hair cut looks great. I'll have to post a picture soon.

Here is a picture of the Valentine in her sweater that a good friend gave me before I left CS. I think she looks so cute in it-I had to post it for her. And another of her having fun in the back of the car.

Keira is also being a rock star and looking cute in the back of the car for the camera with that spanish/english guitar from Leap Frog-who knew it would inspire those rock moves! :)

And here is Kelsey in one of her new soccer work out outfits! The best part of all-she matches at practice now-well most of the time-she still wore bright orange socks with her pink shorts and white shirt on Thursday. Maybe one day she'll not be my punky brewster-but we love her for it and will prbably miss it when she's not mismatched anymore!

what goes around comes around

My mom sent me this email-I generally don't pay much attention-but upon reading it-it reminded me that I need to pay attention to the little things I do each day to the people I meet and how it could directly impact them....

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. 'Leave me alone,' he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth20displayed in dazzling rows. 'Are you hungry?' she asked. 'No,' he answered sarcastically 'I've just come from dining with the President. Now go away.' The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. 'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone. Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked. 'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?' The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?' 'See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.' 'Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go in there!' Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. 'Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.' 'This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it..' Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. 'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?' 'This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered. 'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like that here is bad for business.' Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. 'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.' The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. 'Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?' 'Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently. 'They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.' 'And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?' 'What business is that of yours?' 'I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.' 'Oh.' The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.' She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. 'Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?' 'No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.' 'Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?' 'Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.' The cafeteria manager turned on his heel 'I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer.' The officer watched him walk away. 'You certainly put him in his place,' he said. 'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.' She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest She stared at him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?' Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes 'I think so -- I mean you do look familiar.' 'I'm a little older perhaps,' she said. 'Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.' 'Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. 'I was just out of college,' the woman began. 'I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.' Jack lit up with a smile. 'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy.' 'I know,' the woman continued. 'Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register I knew then that everything would be all right.' 'So you started your own business?' Old Jack said. 'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.' She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. 'When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office.' She smiled. 'I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.' There were tears in the old man's eyes. 'How can I ever thank you? ' he said. 'Don't thank me,' the woman answered. 'To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus.. He led me to you.' Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways 'Thank you for all your help, officer,' she said. 'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered. 'Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee.'

Mommy spackle

I recently was asked to join the autism speaks site by a friend who I had lost touch with many years ago and recently found again. I checked my email this morning to find a sweet hello in my inbox from a mom on this site. My background with austism began with Melissa. She was my dearest friend and mentor as a mom in San Antonio when Kyle and Kelsey were little. Their second child is Kyle's age and was diagnosed with autism just before he was three. They really taught us a lot about what it means to raise an autistic child and all that they did was amazing. By the time they moved to Colorado-he was a different child. Then we moved to College Station and played soccer. We became fast friends with a blended family that was about to have a little boy. Their oldest was so bright, but struggled at times. It has since been diagnosed that he has asperger's. However, the son that was born that first winter there has severe autism. She worked full time until he was 3, but then quit her job to stay home so that he could get all the therapy he would need. She also has two other girls and they are the same ages as my girls and are best buds. I have great respect and awe for Carly and all that she does to raise her family with these challenges she is faced with. I also met another family when we moved her that has a son with autism and although out schedules have been very busy and we have not spent as much time as we would have liked-She is another amazing woman who fought for her child and can see the improvements in his life by finding the right road for him.
So I found a post on this woman's page titled mommy spackle. I laughed and cried as I read it. I loved the term...
She describes a little differently than I would but the gist of it was being put together. Not just as a mom, but as a woman. She works full time, I do not. She is faced with a severe case of autism, I have other challenges with my kids. But I think the mommy spackle in Holland is where I will look for more. (If you have read my post about "Holland"-you'll understand) Every day I am reminded of how out of shape I am. I need more spackle to change that. She mentions manicures-I'd take a pedicure. She mentions sex-I'd just take time alone with Jeremy and then maybe we'll remember what it is like to be young and have hormones! :) And sleep and joy. I may still be low on sleep, but I am trying to get better. But as far as joy goes-I realized yesterday that I need to recognize it more. Our adversity is about how we face it-at times I will not be able to get up and keep going on my own and I know I need to rely on the Savior more, but thankfully He knows me and He knows that I need friends to help me take another step when I don't think I can. They are my angels sent to help me stay on the right path. My family dynamics are different than other when you deal with asthma, and allergies so severely and ADHD and anxiety can be exhausting and most just look at it as a behavior problem and why can't I solve it. But I know that my "Holland" is different than others "France" and I am ok with that now. I really struggled for most of Kenna's life and have cried many tears over her and my other children. But I know it has helped me. I will never hold in this life the baby that I lost, and there are still days that I wonder why, but not like I used to. Kenna's pregnancy may have been hard and it may have felt like I was on a cliff for most of her life up to now-but I am finding a little spackle here and there and slowly putting myself back together. Thank goodness for the gospel and knowing that is the base of my spackle and everything else jsut makes it look good. I hope that I'll get to reach that beautifully remade room when I am done and that I will always remember to look for the rainbows and stop dwelling in the storms.

some zoo pictures...

It was so cool to see the tiger swim and be very active. Kenna LOVED the tiger and growled the rest of the day. Keira loved her zebras and plans on being a zebra trainer when she grows up. Kelsey just loves the entire zoo and Kyle was having fun and looking cool all day. It was a great day and hard to believe how big they all look!

My last two days in Paradise

Well we went to the zoo yesterday and it was a lot of fun. All of the kids had so much fun and it was a nice trip. Kenna is getting older and each time we venture out she does better. I guess there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am sad to see the break end, though. I know all good things come to an end, but it was nice to spend the days and nights playing with the kids and our friends. We got to eat at the amazing new place in Kingwood-Chimmicurri. We went to the zoo twice and Dash is being spoiled by Grandpa in San Antonio. Christmas was wonderful and I am so thankful for my little family. We are surrounded by great neighbors. If you had asked me 19 years ago if I would really want to hang out with my drill team instructor, I would have said no-she scares me. But every time I get to spend time with her-I love her more and more. I think she is an amazing woman and I admire all that she has done. I know there are some out there that may disagree-but I feel very blessed to have moved across the street from her and been able to get to know her and her neat family. It was fun to start a new tradition with them and have Chinese food on the 1st. We had so much fun with all the neighbors at Danny and Dan's on New YEar's Eve. Kenna was scared to death with the firecrackers, but was getting to liking them by the time the clock struck midnight. She called them firecookies.
And so it begins...a new time at church, school, and a new beginning. I am determined to make and keep my goals this year.