Big Girls Don't Cry

Well, it seems that life has a way of changing courses when you finally start to feel settled. This has been a hard weekend and I have been surprised by the information I have learned. I am most grateful for General Conference this weekend. I needed to hear all the words of comfort and support. It has been a long time since it feels like my prayers were answered and I felt as if they were speaking directly to me. I know it is a phrase that is heard often-but those were the words from the scriptures that I needed most right now. I needed to remember to laugh and go forward. I needed to stand ready at the door instead of standing at the door complaining so loudly I couldn't hear Him try to open the door and put His arms around me.
On my birthday Jeremy called me and told me that his Project was cancelled and we could be moving any where in the world or he may stay in another department here in Houston. We don't know right now. I was frustrated with it all b/c I get that news and then I find out that Kelsey's soccer coach resigned and it seemed like it was just another day. But I was uplifted by all the phone calls and messages both on my blog and my facebook page. It made the world seem smaller and that I was needed in someone's life.
I don't know if we will be moving-part of me is really sad to think about it since I have reconnected with an old friend and made some new friends that I really care about. My kids are finally starting to feel settled and Keira was the only one who was ready to pick up and move again. It is also sad if we do move that we only got to enjoy our first new house for less than two years. I guess it doesn't really matter-but even with the things I have struggled with I was beginning to feel like this was home. Even through the Ike experience......
"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people, and the affection of children... to leave the world a better place... to know that even one life had breathed easier because you had lived. This is to have succeeded."- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This was my favorite quote in high school. I love Ralph and all of his wisdom. I think that part of English lit I got a 100. I try to live by this quote. I don't always succeed. I get lost in my own problems, but I hope when I look back on my life I have found joy in the journey and not stopped on the side of the road and missed some spectacular things while I sat there. I hope that I will laugh more and with greater happiness when my children are around or I am alone. I love Fergie's song because it reminds me that I do have some straightening out to do but it is time to get a move on with my life. I will run the race I have wanted to run for all these years. It may take time to lose all the weight I have put on to protect myself from the pain I didn't want to feel. But I will find my joy in my journey and help others along the way.
I apologize if I have not listened to a prompting these past few years that would have allowed me to alleviate someone's else's pain. I was lost in mine-but I see so clearly now that I need to pick myself up and get moving. I have many blessings and it is time to see the rainbows instead of crying over the thunderstorms. Thank you Lord for hearing my cries after much tribulation after much pleading-healing my heart with only the love that you could give me. Not as the world giveth, but only you. You love me in spite of all of my imperfections. Thank you.