Funder go away

Well, I have to say that I thought we were moving forward in Kenna's little world of fear, but last night when it wasn't raining she cried and cried while I was at church telling Jeremy "Funder go away!" (Thunder go away) She sees the gray sky and worries that the funder will hurt her. She has always been afraid of loud sounds since the day she was born, but I thought it was getting better. This past week or so we have had a lot of spring thunder storms and so it has been challenging that she worries so much. At church when it was time for nursery we just had to walk in the general direction of the room and she would cry. Sunday when sacrament meeting ended she started to cry and tell me not to leave her. I know that for some reason there seems to be a lot of children right now struggling with these fears. I believe they came to this world with them. She really has struggled with it more than any of my other children. My right arm and shoulder is afflicted with tendonitits and a small tear because I have held her nonstop in the past two years. I wonder if she is more sensitive to the evil that surrounds us. At times she can be really tough-so she has been a perplexing child. Aside from the asthma and allergy issues she is faced with.
I have realized that I need to focus more on Keira and although it is a slow process I can see it is helping. I am reading more with her and I am striving to make sure just her and I read scriptures every night. I know it is important-but she wasn't sitting still and I would get frustrated-but she wants to do it now so we are reading 1-2 scriptures every night and I am amazed at the confidence it is giving her. She is still a hoot and it is hard to believe she will be in kindergarten soon, but I am trying to just enjoy this time I have left with her before she starts school.
I also have to add that I do love summer vacation. I know that a few of you think I am nuts, but as your kids get older you will see that there is a lot of fun to be had during these breaks. I have had some great talks with Kyle and Kelsey during these times off and so I enjoy the break from school and sports-it gives us a time to really just be 24/7. The younger girls love to have the older kids home during this time and I know as they get older it will be harder to keep them close with such a huge age gap between Kyle and Kenna. I love to watch Kenna run to Kyle and Kelsey as they walk in the door after school. It is a joy that I can't describe.
Last night I got to go to Career Day for the YW. I invited my friend, Jennifer, who is a Target pharmacist. It was fun to see all the different things that interest people. I saw nothing but music when I was their age and now I am doing the last thing I thought-being a mom. I still plan to go back and get a nursing degree when Kenna starts school-but it made me appreciate all the blessing I have received by being able to stay home with the kids all these years. Time flies and I am grateful that even if we don't have the biggest house that is peferctly decorated with furniture and lights and paintings and cool stuff or the boat or the camper or the awesome vacations or that we do have student loans and a mortage-I am grateful for all of Jeremy's hard work over the years that has allowed us to work together to make good choices for our kids. Kyle needs his dad around-what a great blessing that they get to spend so much time together. Money doesn't bring happiness-it is the time we spend with one another. I am glad that I have that time more than all of the things listed above. Time is priceless and as I get older I realize that is the greatest gift we can give to anyone or anything that we love, especially my kids. So Kenna will get through this and so will I-just have to love her and help her find the confidence she needs to realize she is ok.