Monday, January 9, 2012

Week #2-The things I have learned so far in 2012

So I guess I should wait for tomorrow to start posting numbers since that will be the official beginning of week 2 but I was so excited to see on the scale that I had already lost 5.5 pounds on Saturday. I think the even better thing to me is this time feels so much different then the times before. It feels like a new journey back to me. I have been wife, mom, teacher's helper, PTA helper, coach, taxi driver, chef, etc. that somewhere along the way  I lost who I was. I will admit it. I can accept that. I became Kyle, Kelsey, Keira, and Kenna's mom. I thought when I grew  up that is all that I could be. But I have learned over the years that I can be whoever I want to be. I can still have dreams and accomplish them. I will be 45 one day any way so why not try to get that second degree in nursing and pursue one of my hobbies-medicine. I love science. I always have. Only now I have to confidence that maybe I won't be a total failure at it.

Jeremy's grandmother, June, used to always say that she loved every moment of her kids' lives. She enjoyed some more than others and was glad when other stages were over, but she enjoyed the stages while she was there. As Kenna gets close to kindergarten and Kyle gets close to starting high school-I realize that I finally understand what she meant.
Snuggling a newborn baby is like a daily opportunity to feel the hand of God in your arms every time they fall asleep in your arms. Watching them take that first step to you is knowing your whole life is a bout to change-whether this is your first baby or your last....When the sweet babble turns to babble that all can understand, a whole new world opens up. When you reach the point of realizing that you will never have to buy diapers again..(now that is a pay raise!) When you stop having to wipe bottoms-that will truly be graduation! Watching them learn to read and becoming confident at it. I could go on and on....but I think you get the picture. I have tried to treasure each precious moment that I have with each of my kids. I am not always the best at it. Being an only child and grandchild-the chaos of four kids gets to me sometimes and I think I was absolutely insane!!! Other days when I realize that Kelsey and Kyle will be gone in 5 years-I think I would not know what to do if I was "all done" with having kids at home already.
But my road is nowhere near coming to an end. I am ok with that too. I have watched how life is a gift that we must always cherish and hold dear. Our Father in Heaven gave it to us and only He knows how many breaths we will take here on this earth. Only He knows if my children will outlive me or if I will outlive any of them. It is hard to accept that time in the Lord's eyes is not simply linear....We want what we want and in the time period that we want it in. The Lord's will and what He is trying to teach us-well-those that are more humble and tender hearted than me-learn this lesson a lot easier....

So, as I run around being about my children's business on the Lord's time hoping to represent Him in my actions, words, and love....I realize that the material things of life in the end stay here. The accomplishments don't last forever and the legacy that I leave is what will follow me for generations to come.....Have I taught them that prayer is the key to a relationship with our Heavenly Father....Have I been a good example that when I see a need-I try to meet it....A kind word is worth more than being right...and singing and dancing are just a lot of fun.

Mostly, I hope 2012 brings us closer as a family. We all go so many different directions. We all have our own dreams and desires-but I hope that we will take the time to just create good memories with each other. Whether that be singing together on the Wii, dancing to Just dance, playing board games, or riding bikes, watching and supporting one another in all that we do, a family vacation here or there that doesn't revolve around sports. These are the things I hope for this year.
Enya (Keira's classmate who died of Liver cancer in less than 90 days) taught me that we must treasure all that we love each day. As the quote I read recently said-what if the only things you had tomorrow were the things  you thanked him for today. "Tatay Joel" had to say goodbye to his precious daughter last week. All he wanted was more time....I want to make sure each day I enjoy the time I have as the greatest blessing the Lord has given me.....
Yes, I have my weight loss goals that I have imposed on my family. That by September 18, 2012 I will weigh 135. I will run a 5K before the end of the year. I will try to find a buddy who will do a triathlon with me and my mountain bike...But in the end I just want to be a good mom with good kids....A good wife who learns that it is better to be humble and kind than right....A woman who learns to become a nurse and help others....

"He loves me the way I am, He's my strength when I stand, He is my King and my Father, I am His daughter..."

1 comment:

Pinky said...

AMEN! AMEN! I love this post ... you sure know how to put everything into words. I feel your love for your family life and the gospel and your desire to be better. I hope this year is a better one than last year and know that I'm cheering you on all the way from Utah. Love you!