Love Languages

So over the Christmas break I read the book the five love languages for couples by Gary Chapman. In it he talks about the way we can lose our ability after marriage to communicate with our spouses b/c we don't talk in the same love language. So I had heard about these love languages for kids since Kelsey was in kindergarten. Her teacher, Mrs. Bushman (now), loved this book for kids and would tell me how she would use it for discipline in her classroom. I was her room parent and was in there ALL the time so I saw how effective she was! She had so many boys in her class as well as two boys at home as a single mom and her class was always under control. I just loved her!
Well I never read the book, but always thought good things about these "love languages". Well, Jeremy had a friend who told him about this book a few months back and mentioned just how different he and his wife's love languages were. We talked about it and then just kind of let it go. Then on Christmas Eve we stopped by another friend's house and I can't remember how this book came up again and he said he just LOVED that book. He had seen it transform marriages that were on the brink of divorce and that when he and his wife read it-it really opened their eyes to how differently they looked at giving and receiving love.
So he offered the book to us and we gave in and read it and.....yes...it is an amazing book! I can see how Ms. Congleton now Mrs. Bushman would have so much success in helping little boys behave now because she took the time to understand how to reach them in their love language. Don't you wish all teachers did that? How many less behavior problems would their be if teachers took the time to understand the kids they have and their personalities? It is a rare teacher these days that does that-but to those teachers that my kids have had that do-I salute them! I could name each one of them since there are only 6 out of the 26 teachers!
And as far as the couple communication goes....I highly recommend it to all couples! It helps you see that what you feel is a huge way of expressing love and support for you may not be for your partner. For example, I have always very lovingly filled up my husband's gas tank when I drive his car when it is empty and make sure that he is never without a full tank. I felt I was showing how much I loved him by taking care of this task for him every time I borrowed his car. I tried to move the seat back, etc. but the gas was the big one b/c I made a special stop to get it done for him. But he never said anything and whenever he took my car it never was filled up and sometimes it was close to empty when I got it back. I always got mad at him for it. (This is a trivial example, but it is a building block for bigger things) So as we read this book and I saw that one of my love languages is acts of service. So I explained the gas tank thing to him. He had NO IDEA! He did not know that I got mad at him for leaving the tank until it was empty. He did not realize how much it meant to me to leave his car with a full tank for him. It was not a big deal TO HIM. So we have really changed a lot of things thanks to this book.
My house is cleaner :) the gas tank is full :) I smile more :) I have taken the time to really figure out which ones my children are-that aren't screaming out to us. It has helped me appreciate Jeremy more each day.