The bugs on my windshield

Well, I seem to have a sick household, but aside from the frustation of it all, I realize things could be worse. These day to day trials are like the love bug guts on my windshield. they are really annoying when they hit, they are hard to clean off the window, but they are only around for a short time every year. I have been embarrassed by the messiness of my house when people have stopped by the last few days, but I know that it won't be forever-but I miss my rescuers, Kitch and Olsen. This time last year when I was drowning in the same thing-they were here to help me with the kids and the house and my sanity. So I am grateful that the Lord put them in my life-because they have blessed my life with their example. Others have done the same things for me, but these two women really cared when it was hard to just get out of bed, let alone take care of a screaming baby and a 3 1/2 year old after I got the older kids to school. Some days I wonder what this only child was thinking about having a large family with 4 kids. I worry I fall short-but just as my challenges in raising them are like the love bugs-I will miss it when they are gone and I try to enjoy it-because really in the end it is not how clean my house was every day, but that my kids know that I love them and have taught them to believe in themselves. I'll just be happy when I feel good again and I get the endo issues resolved again. That is another love bug I won't mind getting rid of forever-but to do that it is a hysterectomy and I have to schedule that recovery time!:)
I have also realized that as I have found old friends this week that maybe I wasn't such a bad friend when I was a teenager. I was always worried that b/c of my old family that I was a bad friend and never did a good job of keeping in touch. It has really made my day when they write back on my facebook page and say they have thought about me, etc. I catch myself smiling at a Stotlar memory or a Pop Show memory or a musical memory or a choir trip memory. Last week before all of this happened I was singing Kenna to sleep with "Go Ye Now In Peace" and "For the Beauty of the Earth". It is hard to believe it has been almost 20 years since I left Kingwood the first time. I have changed a lot since then-but I am determined to sing more. I wish I hadn't stopped singing. I want my kids to believe in themselves more than I believed in me all those years ago and that dreams can come true with hard work and support. I guess now I am rambling so I better get something done today. I got the suburban clean-so I just hace to catch up to the laundry! Have a good one to anyone who reads my blog.